Lili, on and off screen

childish french accordion music of Lili ("hi Lili hi Lili hi lo hi lo..."), 1953 but could be today, right now

I’m a problem

The abnormal one

The one who annoys, 'pesada'

Treated nicely like the retard

Watching the movie in front of you through clogged wells of hot gooey balls

'Keep away from me.

Do you have to be so close?'

Oh just shoot me in the back with your laser stare

That way it will appear accidental

Flat chalky vintage colors

Sometimes dazzling

Typical naïve innocent young girl

What good does it do to be naïve and innocent?

in a typical insensitive sexually-hungry reality

that devours

she’s sitting behind me

and my writing is motivated by the assumed laser-stare on my back

two translucent-gray lasers, zoom zoom

but she’s not really looking at my back

rather the TV, or nothing (asleep)

and without the lasers?

Why not just be devoured

Could it be so bad?

We will never know until we try

But everything will be all better

Like when someone has died

or someone has cheated

ah it was just a joke

or a dream, or a movie, or a puppet show

If sadness was as simple as Lili makes it appear

A gray blouse and a solemn face

the final credits.

"A song of love is a sad song,
Hi lili, hi lili, hi lo.
A song of love is a song of woe.
Don't ask me how I know.
A song of love is a sad song,
For I have loved and it's so.
I sit at the window and watch the rain,
Hi lili, hi lili, hi lo.
Tomorrow I'll probably love again.
Hi lili, hi lili, hi lo..........."

Leslie Caron and Carrot Top in Lili (1953)