Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Dream 4: the immortal turquoise sea

Early this morning i dreamt that i had gotten off a plane or train and i was leaving the station which was right in front of the sea or ocean. (This was a mute dream, no sound, all visual and physical.) I remember looking out at the sea/ocean, seeing how dark-blue almost black it appeared. From the calmness and soft sun, i would guess it was early morning, like 8am. I watched a hard-plastic wind-operated jet ski go by. Next scene, for some reason, i was in the water with my clothes on, it was warm, my eyes were not being blinded by the sun or burned by the salt water, i wasn’t getting sunburned, it was perfect. I was waste-deep, my pants clinged to my legs, when a big black inner tube rolled my way on top of a wave. It was almost like a tire, i thought it would be safe and strong with these big waves. I caught it and put it under my backside, laid over it, and clinged on with my legs and arms. The waves were big and the tube took me for a ride, it was fun. At one put it took me far/deep out and i went on top of a very large wave, and then, the tube and i were safely dropped with a plunk. The drop gave me a bit of the roller-coaster-butterflies-in-my-stomach and i thought “how fun!” The water was a beautiful turquoise now. I felt at peace, I felt weightless, my extremities swayed and melted with the warm waves. I had a strong urge to stay there forever, let myself slowly dissolve into the water-- regardless of the consequences/risks involved. Laying there, with thin consciousness, I began thinking: it would be such a nice escape, a fun warm bath with Nature, to vanish under the soft sun; abstract, ubiquitous, turquoise, warm, and mute. But at another point i thought of my parents, and thought this could be dangerous, i could die... i could disappear... and they would worry. I thought the only news my parents would have would be that i disappeared abroad. It would take them a couple weeks to find out, and they would not-- for the slightest moment-- think that i disappeared happily in the sea, they would have dark frightful visions, they would think the worst and more-common, they would think some male did something grotesquely terrible to me, their minds would go wild with blood and knives and physical force and foreign stereotypes. I began to think that i could write a message in a bottle, saying something like Dear Mom and Dad, don’t worry, I’ve disappeared with the turquoise sea, left life the same way I came into life: wrapped in a blue, comforting, soft and warm blanket. But then I thought: but the bottle could break in these strong waves, and so, they would think something terrible happened. I thought: well i could fill many bottles with the message... then the tube started edging towards the shore. My toes hit the sand and I jumped off limp-legged and walked up to the narrow cement boardwalk.